Re #1: Not possible unfortunately. This is something that would be extremely useful, but it'd require SOE giving us a way to track a mob's cast bar independently of the target windows. All I can suggest is /feedback and hope they can put something like that in. As a healer that DPSes as well I can tell you how much I would like something like that, I've /feedback'd it as well in the past but more can only help.
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