This sounds like an extreme case of the bug that many people are having with their chat options not being saved.
One good suggestion I saw was to open the game, configure your chat options, then alt-tab to explorer and go to your server_character_uisettings.ini file and make that file read-only. Apparently this is working for some people, but I tried it, and the game somehow still messed up my chat options.
You may just have to live with this, redjackal. Sucks, I know, but I've been looking around on the SOE forums, and there are hundreds of posts on there with similar issues, and SOE pretty much ignores them. I don't think they know how to fix the bug, or else it is just not very important.
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